Where's your Self-Love going?

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The purpose of life is to create your own reality. Your own. For you cannot create or control anybody else's.



Work on your own life; goals, ambitions, habits, mindset.  It is wasted energy to analyse and deconstruct someone else's life to the point where your own is being neglected.  Some people over spend their energy breaking down the lives of others - everything from the choices they make to what their words mean or may not mean - ruminating over their actions and circumstances to the point of insanity.  By insanity I mean to a point where they rile themselves up into a negative state  and it is felt in the mind and body.  

The reality is that the actions of others only affect you as much as you let them.  Hurt comes from our initial reaction at the time of the event, but from also allowing our minds to relive the situation.  If it has already happened, how can it continue to hurt you?  By you actively thinking about it, that's how.  Did you know that it takes 90 seconds for an emotion to pass?  I learned this from Daily Love founder Mastin Kipp.  Next time you feel an unwanted emotion, count 90 seconds and see what happens after.  If you still feel the emotion (again) it will because you have re-thought about it and you are ruminating.

We must realise the amount of devotion and energy we give another, when refocused on ourselves, can move us forward in leaps and bounds.  Think of the dedication it takes to wonder about another's actions, to deconstruct their life, to second guess and make up for their shortfalls... (shortfalls that you have assumed because of traits you are not happy with about said person).  What greatness we could achieve by using the same dedication to break down our own habits and work on ourselves!  This avoidance of self and judging of others does not breed self-love, but rather subconsciously fuels a dislike for our 'bad' habits and lack of progression, because you believe other people are the reason for these things, and not yourself.  You start to see what is 'wrong' in others whilst developing a false moral high ground that you are not at fault and have been hard done by, therefore learning nothing from your relationships.  

Stop trying to water someone else's grass when your own is dry and yellow.  Why would you tend to someone else when you're in need yourself?!  Madness right?

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I would like to take the time to recommend a relevant book called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  A wonderful novel that takes us on the search of something greater than self, while causing us to look deep inside ourselves on the way.  Just beautiful.  


You can read my review of the book here.




Much Love, EL x  Bloglovin' / Instagram / Tumblr / Twitter / Goodreads / Pinterest / Google+