30 Day Snap | Day 2

This has been my view all day.  These days college work has consumed my life totally.  It seems to have gotten more so towards the end of the course  As well as that the stress has intensified.

I never thought going to college would take over my life to this extent.  I rarely go out or do anything fun.  My time has been swallowed by coursework and revision.  But mainly coursework.  I can have up to 6 or 7 assignments due in one week.  I currently have 7 due in for tomorrow.

I am so, so tired.  I do not remember the last time I had a good nights sleep.  There have been a couple of nights I haven't even been to bed.  Those situations are very hard to deal with as I still have to get up in the morning for college and also get my little people ready.  My mojo has left me on more than one occasion; there are times when I just want to jack it all in.  I have actually jumped up and said 'fuck it' a few times.  I am just so tired, did I mention tired??  The pressure of all the work is immense.  There are some days I cannot go out as I have work to do.  I am starting to detest my house because I spend so much time in it!!  Not to mention that my back and muscles ache because I am always sitting in the same damn place!!!  The stress has affected me in a way I have never felt before and it is really not nice.  The physical symptoms of stress can make you think you are ill.  The anxiety makes you feel like you will never be happy again.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I am not sure how other people on my course are feeling but I know this has all been an issue for me.  I don't see anyone else struggling like myself but too be honest I am not concerned about that.  However, I am not sure if others see how its affecting me.  I feel like its written all over my face; in my tired eyes and my angry walk.  My priority is to just get through these last couple of weeks.  I am eager to get back to my life.  To see my friends and family.  Some of whom I have not seen in nearly a year.  I want to spend my time outdoors exploring the world, dancing in the street and eating marshmallows.  I just want to feel happy again.

This should be my last hard night of work.  I really thank God that this will be over soon.

If anyone of you are dealing with stress and anxiety or pressures from studying or there is anything I have mentioned that resonates with you, please feel free to email me - peachy8686@gmail.com

Much love xxx